Well, Alien vs. Predator opens today and I’m really, you know, well … yeah. My hope is that — following Freddy vs. Jason and the massive floppage that will be AVP — Hollywood will nevertheless fully embrace this new “versus” formula for creating new and exciting stink bombs, thus bringing about the End of Entertainment. Some suggestions:
Indiana Jones vs. Darth Vader (Thanks, James.)
Khan vs. Gordon Gecko (KVGG)
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid vs. Bonnie & Clyde (BC&SKVB&C)
Tony Montana vs. Michael Corleone vs. Carlito Brigante (“Whoever wins, Al Pacino yells.”)
Benjamin Braddock vs. What’s Her Name’s Character from Lost in Translation (“Whoever wins realizes — very, very slowly — that even winning cannot distract them from the restless emptiness of existence.”)
Jim Hanas's writing has appeared in McSweeney's, Fence, One Story, Radar and Slate. His e-book short story collection, Why They Cried, will be released this fall by Joyland and ECW Press.
