Thursday December 02, 2004

An Inconvenience on Both Your Houses

Because I know I can’t give everyone on my list The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World…Ever! for the holidays, I was glad to find CustomizedClassics.com, where I can order up personalized versions of Moby Dick and Romeo & Juliet, the latter of which is available with not one, but two “happy ending” versions, in which the star-crossed lovers come back to life — just like Jesus. I believe I will have to go with the ultra-hep “irreverent version”:

ACT V, SCENE IV. IN THE SEPULCHRE.

[Romeo and Juliet awaken, rubbing their eyes]
Romeo: What the heck was that big scene all about?
Juliet: Who knows? I just passed out for a second and everybody’s losing it. Luckily the dagger wasn’t sharp.
Romeo: And the apothecary screwed up big-time! What do you say we head home?
Juliet: Sounds like a plan, my medieval man!
[Exeunt Romeo and Juliet hand in hand]

(via Bookslut.)