Monday May 09, 2005

Minus One

In the interest of accuracy and full disclosure—which, as is customary with such disclosures, means I’m about to reveal something of interest only to me—I should let readers know that they should subtract one from my missed-cigarette counter to get an accurate reading of how many cigarettes I have not smoked since April 18. Why?

Well, some people believe that God is bringing about the end of the world. Others believe that God helped put George Bush in the White House. I happen to believe that God put a perfectly pristine cigarette under my desk last Thursday around 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Here’s how I recorded the ensuing events in my top secret journal:

I could see it from where I was sitting, tangled amid the wires under my computer desk. As soon as I saw it, I knew that I would smoke it. And I did. Standing in the bathroom.

Pitiful.

Posted by jim at 02:34 PM ||