Monday May 23, 2005

The Worst Gossip Column in the World

Notes toward such a column, composed after a weekend spent reading current issues of Star, Us, People and that other one:

Paris Hilton may be working it in her naughty new commercial for Carl’s Jr., but sources close to the bombshell tell us that she doesn’t have to work at all. She’s heir to the Hilton Hotel fortune. … A spy, who attended this weekend’s SNL broadcast at Studio 8H, says host Lindsay Lohan appears to have lost some weight. And she may have dyed her hair! … According to insiders, a certain bearded director/producer—who just released the sixth part of his celebrated sci-fi epic last week—is known in Hollywood circles to be “pretty well off.” … Tom Cruise is a gay, gay man.